Steve Jobs has only “six weeks to live”

I am BEYOND sick of Apple rumors.

According to an article in the National Enquirer, Steve Jobs supposedly has 6 weeks to live. They think that they somehow know this because they stalked him on his way to visit the Stanford Cancer Center, and photographed him looking purportedly thinner than usual.

Dr. Gabe Mirkin, who claims to have a “20-year track record of spotting breakthroughs and recommending effective treatments long before they become standard medical care”, believes that Jobs only has weeks to live after analyzing photos of his buttocks. His behind. On top of that, the “doctor” has never even seen Jobs in person. Who’s to say that these photos weren’t touched up?

In other news: the entire Apple corporation is throwing everything away to create a croquet-korfball hybrid.

[Gizmodo]